I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

How do you organize a space party? You planet.

Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”

What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty (2:30).

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

What did one plate say to another? Tonight, dinner’s on me.